I go back and forth between wanting to jump back into blogging and wanting to delete the whole thing.
I don't have much time these days.
Well, I suppose this is probably a "cop out". I've never really had much time and I've made it work. I guess the truth is I'm less inclined to make it work these days. The time when I could blog is time I'd rather spend in other ways in this season of life.
Part of my struggle is in deciding what to write. That's always been a bit of a problem, but as my children grow it seems more of an issue. I am more and more becoming keenly aware that these stories aren't just mine. In fact, I'm not sure they are mine at all much of the time. I have long made a habit of asking permission before posting most things. For every post there are many that go unwritten because they are too personal, too difficult or a dozen other reasons. Even when permission is granted, I wonder will they change their mind later at 20,30, 55?
I'm not sure what will become of this space.
Maybe I'll spruce it up with some new writing.
Maybe I'll take it down.
Maybe I'll leave it like an abandoned old house.
For now, I'll just stick to saying life is busy and I don't have much time.
Things have been wonderful and hard and fun and boring and fabulous and awful and busy and full and a million other things...that's always been the case and likely always will.
Really, it could all be summed up in one little word.
The good, the bad, the ugly...it's all a gift.
I may not be writing about it much these days, but I am trying my best to soak it all up...especially moments like these: