It's Official

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon/evening with friends. There were 29 children (from 5 families...adults were a wee bit outnumbered) and they were all playing various games both inside and outside. Such a great time!

So, Aaron is outside playing with a dozen children and comes running in the house and hands me his tooth.

Losing teeth has been a huge fear for him for a really long time. When he turned six, he said the only bad thing about turning six is that he would start to lose his teeth. For months, he has talked about it and we've reassured him it was fine. That tooth has been loose for a while, and he's avoided chewing with it as much as possible not wanting to make it "more loose-ish". A couple of days ago it became really wiggly and he was really nervous about it.

All of that and it was a complete non-event. He was very relieved to discover that it fell out, he handed it to me and that was it.

A while later, he came to me and said "I guess it's really official now. I'm really and truly a big kid 'cause I lost a tooth."

Now this morning, Parker keeps asking how many days until he loses a tooth and becomes a real big kid.

He is Risen!

Mark 16:1-8

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, bought spices, so that they might come and anoint Him.

Very early on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen.

They were saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance of the tomb?"

Looking up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away, although it was extremely large.

Entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting at the right, wearing a white robe; and they were amazed.

And he said to them, "Do not be amazed; you are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who has been crucified He has risen; He is not here; behold, here is the place where they laid Him.

"But go, tell His disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see Him, just as He told you.'"

They went out and fled from the tomb, for trembling and astonishment had gripped them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.

The children's choir, which includes 4 out of 5 of the little rebels, will be singing during this morning's church service. I can't wait to hear. Of course, that's partly because I'm a proud mama and love when my children get to sing in church. More than that, I am thankful for a church that teaches and preaches the truth and challenges even young children to grasp more than just fluffy children's songs. They have been practicing, memorizing, beginning to understand powerful lyrics for several weeks. I pray that the words and the truth they contain will be etched into their hearts long after this mornings service is over.

Here are the lyrics to the song they are singing...

Worship Christ, the risen King

Rise O Church and lift your voices
Christ has conquered death and hell
Sing as all the earth rejoices
Resurrection anthems swell
Come and worship come and worship
Worship Christ the Risen King

See the tomb where death had laid Him
Empty now its mouth declares
Death and I could not contain Him
For the throne of life He shares
Come and worship come and worship
Worship Christ the Risen King

Hear the earth protest and tremble
See the stone removed with pow'r
All hell's minions may assemble
But cannot withstand His hour
He has conquered He has conquered
Christ the Lord the Risen King

Doubt may lift its head to murmur
Scoffers mock and sinners jeer
But the truth proclaims a wonder
Thoughtful hearts receive with cheer
He is risen He is risen
Now receive the Risen King

We acclaim Your life O Jesus
Now we sing Your victory
Sin or hell may seek to seize us
But Your conquest keeps us free
Stand in triumph stand in triumph
Worship Christ the Risen King

May love, family, food, fun and most importantly the Saviour, Jesus Christ the Lord fill your hearts and homes this day!

Special needs Tab

I have posted a "special needs" tab underneath the blog header so that those interested can read our "laundry list" of challenges. You can also just click here to go directly to the page.

I wanted to address it a little more fully in this post. My children are more than just a list of medical/neurological/psychological labels. I know that most of you reading this know that, but I still wanted to share a bit more and since its my blog I can do that. :-)

Many of these struggles aren't a big deal in our day to day life, but they are always there and add to the difficulties of it all. Others are there every day, but their impact varies moment to moment. We have days that are really hard to get through. We have days when we try to figure out how to bottle it for pouring out on a horrible day. We have days that are a mixture of both (the majority of our days fall into this category actually). In many ways, that isn't any different than any life.

I guess, the main difference in my mind is that the trials and challenges coexist in ways that I don't think is the case for most people. We all go through valleys and we all stand on mountaintops...most of us don't do both every day. Sometimes both can happen in the same hour even. Another difference, I think, is that often the things that cause the some tremendous difficulty for us are the "easy" and mundane things of most people's lives. Most people don't have to think about things like the impact of small changes in routine, figuring out what bathroom options are available before going on an errand, or how to convince your child to wear shoes for more than thirty seconds. It's likely that many of you reading this do not have to regularly assure a child that it's okay to sit on a chair without cleaning it or help a child struggle with fear and anxiety of fire while everyone else in the room happily sings "Happy Birthday".

At the end of both the good and the bad days, I try and step back to look at the bigger picture.

The bigger picture shows:

...my children are not a list of labels, problems, diagnoses.

...that perspective is everything and my perspective is life is good. Even when it isn't.

...that everyone has struggles. Everyone has a story. Every life has trials and triumphs.

...sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it hurts -both physically and emotionally.

...that every life is a life worth living.

...that I have a choice every day. A choice to embrace this life and its struggles or become bitter about this life and its struggles.

...that I can choose to embrace and still have days where I fumble, where I wonder why, where I'm angry, where I want to whine, pout and stomp my feet.

Even still, the bigger picture shows that God is bigger than *my* picture. He can handle my pouting, stomping feet and questions of why. He is the one that gives me the strength, self control and focus to stop, regroup and see the bigger picture.

Seeing the bigger picture means seeing the bigger God. The one that whispered my name so long ago, the God that delivered me out of a life so far from where I am today that I can hardly fathom it's part of my story. That is until I see the scars...the ones on my heart and the ones on His hands. Both the ones I deserve and the ones He bears for me.

Life is beautiful. Every detail. The good. The bad. All woven into a beautiful tapestry. When you zero in on individual fibers it often doesn't look like much. Sometimes it can look a little ugly. Frayed, faded, worn thin. When you back up, you see the beauty in all its splendor.

Nothing is more beautiful to me than the tapestry of my life. I wouldn't trade any of my kids for anything. Yes, their health issues are hard. Especially the trying to find answers part and the unending desire to fix it all. Yes, anxiety, sensory issues, autism, all of that brings difficulties that sometimes make me feel like I'm crumbling under the weight of it all.

Yet, stepping back and seeing the fibers of this life shows that some of the very things that are so hard also bring along magnificent gifts. The same struggles that sometimes lead me to asking "why?" are part of the very things that ALWAYS lead me to saying "Thank You".

Thank you, Lord for these precious children and the love, joy, delight, humor, imagination and amazement they bring into my life. Thank you for the frustrations, the struggles, the opportunities to see you work in my life, in their lives and in our family life. Thank you for the truth of your Word. That we can find our strength in Christ alone. That we can trust You will use even the hard stuff for your glory and our growth. I'm so Thankful that my children were knit together in the womb by Your creative hands. You made no mistakes. You didn't sleep on the job. They are exactly who they were created to be and you are working in their lives in every moment, every facet, in every challenge and every victory.

Autism Awareness

Everywhere you look these days there are efforts of awareness. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, circulating emails, ribbons, car magnets, specially marked items in the grocery store, on and on it goes.

Some effective, some not. Some creative and some not. Some that really serve their purpose well and then others that make you wonder "WHAT in the world does that have to do with ______ Awareness?"
Seriously friends, knowing the color of your bra or where you like to put your purse? Sorry, it doesn't work well for the cause.

There is Mental Wellness Month, National Glaucoma Awareness Month, National American Heart Month, National Kidney Month, Hemophilia Month and that hasn't even gotten us past the first two months of the year!

Breast Cancer Awareness

AIDS Awareness

Orphan Awareness

World Water Awareness

A google search and a bit of time on your hands is likely to provide you with at least a thousand others.

All of these causes are important to someone.

All of them deserve recognition. Some are more urgent than others. Some affect the world in bigger ways. Some have a louder voice than others. Some get more media coverage than others. None of them (at least of the ones I've seen) are invalid.

I think, though, that it is easy for us to nod our head and move right on past anything that doesn't affect us on a personal level. I think this is especially true in these days where Awareness bombards our senses from every side.

This is why I've never been a huge partaker in these campaigns. How do you decide which are worthy of your time, money, energy? If I put money into every one I cared about, Kev would need a fourth job. If I blogged about them all, my blog would be one huge Awareness commercial and I suppose most people would find that annoying. (at least I would)

I have long preferred to quietly support those that are close to my heart and leave the Awareness, shouting from the rooftops aspect more to others.

That's why I've been a little timid in jumping into the ring this month for Autism Awareness Month.

Everyone's heard of Autism.

What does "Lighting it up blue for Autism" have to do with really bringing Awareness?

So what if I wear blue on April 2nd?

So what if I change my facebook profile to an Autism Awareness one?

These are thoughts that have been in my mind for the past few weeks.

Then I thought about this...

1 in 110 children are on the autism spectrum

1 in 88 children in military families are on the autism spectrum

2 of my children are at what many call the high functioning end of that spectrum (Jerald and Aaron).

We've wondered for years, but just recently heard it from a neurologist.*

Part of that delay was our own ignorance and misunderstanding about what Autism looks like in real life.

Yes, everyone has heard of Autism.

However, hearing about something does not bring understanding. There are many people still that know little about autism. Many don't understand that every child with autism is different and that there is a huge variety in both in their abilities and their disabilities....that's why it's called a Spectrum.

My boys are not just part of a statistic. They are two of the best things that have ever happened to me. They are brilliant, funny, handsome and quirky. They also have many struggles and many unanswered questions about their future.

After a bit of chewing on all of this, I had a talk with my boys and then I jumped in the ring... for them.

Awareness is the beginning spark to helping them find support in a world that is often difficult to navigate. Three times in recent months, we've heard some variation of "If you are 11, why do you act like you are 5?" These are not the words of a bully. It's not coming from a motivation of teasing or degrading (though we've dealt with bullying, teasing in the past too). They are sincere words from the mouths of children that don't understand, with parents that do not understand.

From outside, a blue light illuminates the front of the house differently than the white one we usually have out there. That doesn't mean much if you are driving by late at night. We don't live in a neighborhood. I'm not sure anyone will see our blue light and think twice about it. It's doubtful that anyone will wonder if it's connected to Autism.

That's okay.

If it sparked a conversation that would be great, but our real reason for it is much more personal and inward focused.

For those of us that live in this house the perspective is a little different tonight as we Light it up Blue for World Autism Awareness Day.

The blue light changes everything that we usually see.

To Jerald and Aaron it shows them their family loves them, supports them and accepts them.

To the rest of us, it reminds us that while the light might look a little different it is no less a light in the darkness...just like Jerald and Aaron...not more, not less...just a little different.

Awareness is the beginning of understanding, so I change my profile picture, I'm going to talk about it on my blog (along with the other things we face), I light my front porch blue and little by little I hope that it makes a difference for my boys and others on the autism spectrum.









*in the interest of full disclosure, the diagnosis is not official yet, as we need to complete some evaluations first, but it is our opinion and that of the neurologist that they are both on the spectrum...I'll be blogging soon about our journey to this point.