Calming the Morning Mayhem

First, the facts...
1.Mornings are often crazy around here.
2.Five children ranging in age from 4-11 with four of them being boys does not equal quiet and peaceful. All of my children are capable of being quiet, one of them prefers much quiet, but generally our neighbors would say we are not a quiet bunch.
3.I am not a morning person and I rarely get more than 5hrs of sleep...even that is usually broken into snippets throughout the night.
4.Three of my children are going 100 miles an hour the moment their feet hit the floor.
5.I am a perfectionist and constantly disappoint myself that I'm not one of *those* homeschool mom's...you know, the ones that have the house spotless, meals prepped and school done all by noon?
6.Despite the above disappointment, I consider it a good day if we have breakfast eaten and cleaned up, math finished and laundry started by noon.
7.If we make it through breakfast, math, laundry by noon AND haven't had a tantrum from anyone (me included) than it's an extra-good day.
8. I've learned that I often (always?) am the one that sets the tone for the day and if I'm crabby, whiny and slothful the children will quickly follow suit.
9.If my morning starts off well, it's much easier to keep the whole day pointed in the right direction.
10. God knows all of the above facts and yet, every day he gives me a new morning to try again. Complaining aside, I truly am very thankful for each day of life I'm given. (those mornings would be so much better if they started say around 11am though)

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about how to make mornings calm. How can we start off in the right direction even after a rough night of little sleep? I've had to think of what exactly I mean by terms like calm and quiet and cheerful. The dictionary definitions aren't necessarily what I'm after here.

Which brings me to having a long hard conversation with myself about what I would like our mornings to look like here. I had to stop comparing with other families and with what I thought was the ideal and really think of what would/could work here and how we could change things to achieve that.

I don't expect complete quiet and tranquility (though I'd love that). I don't necessarily want everyone to jump into the productivity of the day from the get-go. In some ways I actually like our slower, laid-back approach. I do think we need to be more purposeful and better at time management. After much thinking, praying, talking to myself and a little talking to Kev, I think we are finally getting into a bit of a morning groove that works well for us. I'm tweaking here and there and this week has been way off for several reason (hence the reason I'm doing a blog post NOW while children are playing rather than doing schoolwork...love the flexibility in homeschooling that we can play now, school later when needed).

Our new "recipe" for a calm morning:
1. Start my morning the night before. Having a plan for breakfast (maybe even having it prepped), clothes out for everyone, the house picked up so we aren't waking to the previous days mess.
2. Quiet time for prayer, scripture reading, hymn singing. I'll be honest. At this time in life, this part is hard for me. No matter what time I get up, kids wake shortly after and I get frustrated having that time interrupted. I finally had to lay it down and realize what's important to me is spending time in the Word not the fact that it is time alone. If a child (or children) is/are awake, they join me. I also cherish my shower time that's usually not interrupted more than 5 times with "I gotta go potty"...yes, with seven people in the house, we still only have one bathroom.
3. Family prayer time. Kev is trying to be ready for work early enough that we have a bit of time to spend praying together before he leaves for work.
4. Hot beverages. My new favorite part of the morning! Wish I had thought of it BEFORE I tossed out the coffee pot a week or two ago. I gave up daily coffee drinking years ago and only occasionally had a cup (or two). So, in a fit of decluttering I tossed it. It's okay, really, I don't need the caffeine and I'm enjoying a variety of herbal teas instead. Kev also bought powdered, instant cappuccino mix from Sam's. It's actually yummy, but I won't buy it again once we use it up. Some mornings, the children are also enjoying a cup of tea...though I think it does FAR more to calm me than it does them.
5. The children have my shower time to play, read, pretty much whatever they want (within the bounds of what's allowable for our family). Having this boundary of shower=play time, but when mom is done school begins has been great.
6. Routine. I have resisted a set routine for years. I have tried them only to toss the idea a few days later. I'm really not even sure why I rebel against this concept so much. I actually like structure and some of my children NEED structure...as in to breathe, they seriously must have structure in their life. My own lack of self discipline has hindered that. So, while I'm maintaining the right to flex when needed, I am finally waving the white flag and creating routines for us to follow.
7. Flexibility. I have to remind myself and the kids that sometimes we really have to "go with the flow" and that is okay. Learning to go with the flow instead of fighting it has been hard for a couple of kids. (Which is one of the reasons we need the routine...but I'm trying to strike the balance of giving routine and teaching them to be flexible)
8. Meeting sensory needs. We have a set time and specific activities each morning for brushing, bouncing, etc. It has been AMAZING to see how much this one little thing has turned our mornings around (though not so little when it's being done times five).
9. Laying down my expectations for schooling. I am learning to meet my kids where they are at (isn't that one of the reasons I homeschool? so why is this so hard for me at times?). I often have high expectations and get frustrated easily when they don't meet them. Facing that this is more my problem than theirs has been a hard, but necessary thing. I am not lowering my expectations, but I'm rearranging them...figuring out what *I* need to do to help them meet them instead of just being frustrated. Also, accepting that some expectations may never be met and that is totally okay.
10. Simplicity. We are getting rid of excess stuff, excess activities, excess school subjects...coming back to the things that are most important to our family and focusing on them. When I let go of all the "extras" it is much less overwhelming.

I am very hopeful that as we continue to tweak routines, simplify life and work together towards our family goals that I might eventually even be able to say I'm a morning person...or maybe not.