There is just something about seeing your children's carseats singed, and covered in soot and melted plastic. It's just not something that leaves your memory easily. It took my breath away, brought forth tears and hurt my heart. It still does. How easily this could have happened while my children were strapped into those very seats. How thankful I am that it didn't happen that way.
On a more practical note, the fire left us scrambling to find a vehicle that would fit five children still in carseats. After a very stressful week of scouring the entire state, we finally found a 15 passenger van to be our best option.
After a few years of driving the bus, I was thrilled to have the van. I imagine it felt sort of like going from a mini-van back to a little two seater car.
Two people in our family were not so thrilled, however. Kevin and Rocklin loved that bus and the van just wasn't the same. A few short months later, we went shopping for a new bus. Rocklin says there is just nothing like the sound of the "diesel lullaby".
This is what we found...
Three years later, she is no replacement for the bus that Kev put so many hours into and that Rocklin just adored. We've taken her to North Carolina, we've used her here and there, but mostly she's just been sitting in the driveway.
Now that only three (soon to be four) of our five are in carseats, its really no longer practical. Even Parker is able to buckle himself and just needs a quick check to be sure it's secure. We bought the original van after needing to stand with our rears in the rain to buckle kiddos up and bumping our heads on the roof as we hunched over seats to secure carseat straps. Those days are gone, the kids jump in and buckle themselves.
So, it's the end of an era. The little rebels aren't so little anymore and the need for a bus isn't so great.
I was never very fond of the first bus and definately not of the second.
There will be no emotional farewell for me. Especially considering that I love her replacement...a red, diesel suburban.
However, as I reflect on the past three years, there is most definately an emotional farewell of another sort.
How in the world did I end up here? Our second son, Rocklin hit double digits yesterday. Parker, the baby, is four. We are (nearly) out of the diaper/pull-up stage, (nearly) out of the carseat stage...gone are the days of nursing little ones to sleep, of giving them baths (even Parker bathes himself with supervision now), of cuddling and reading bedtime stories (though we still read at bedtime, it's very different from the days of cuddling and reading picture books).
I hope we aren't out of these stages forever, we still have time to add to our brood. Yet, realizing that we could be makes me more than a little sad.
While I love my children at every age/stage, and I am certainly enjoying that they are a bit more independent, I have shed a few tears this morning as I say farewell.
Farewell, bus (both of them) and farewell to a house full of littles...at least for now.
*as an aside, if you are in the market for a bus, here's the ebay classified ad for ours.
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