Happy Birthday, Mom!

Once upon a time, in a town not too far from here, there was a young girl about to be thrust into the world of motherhood.

It was your 17th birthday. Unbeknownst to you, in exactly a month you'd be a mother.

I've often wondered what that time was like for you. I'm sure you were scared...clueless...not ready.

Then you gave birth to a preemie and the man you thought you'd share your life with, the father of your baby, left and never returned.

How devestating, life changing, and scary that must have been for you.

Yet, you preservered.

I imagine through your own resolve and the support of your parents you pushed on. I, of course, have no memory of that time, but I know the few stories I've been told. I've heard how sick I was, and I know that asthma/allergies/breathing issues continued through out my childhood, often landing me in the Hotel de Hospital for days, even a week at a time.

A year later, you married and by 21 you were mommy to three children. Difficulties in life continued to surround you. You made the best choices you knew how. Sometimes good ones, sometimes not so good.

I've already shared in other posts that my childhood memories are often ones of chaos, drama, difficulties. I'd be lying if I did a birthday post that painted our relationship as always roses and gumdrops. It wasn't.

There were years you were all I had and others when you weren't in my life much. Times when we laughed and cried together and supported each other. Other times you did everything you knew how to help a hurting and angry teen only to be the one that took the brunt of my anger and violence. There were times when you were my hero and times when I hated you.

While my childhood might not be a nice rosy picture of a girl and her lovely mother, much has changed in the last 15yrs or so.

We've both grown, changed, matured. We've learned that the power of love is stronger than the difficulties we encountered.

We've learned the bond of a mother and her child can be rebuilt when life's circumstances attempt to destroy it...our relationship is a living testimony of that.

Today is a very different story than the one that began all those years ago. I'm sure when you look back at that 17th birthday, the hopes and dreams you carried have played out very very differently than you ever imagined.

It's often been a hard journey, but it's your journey. It's one of heartache, heartbreak and brokenness. It's also one of restoration, second chances, and love.

Over the past several years, I've had people make comments about how we seem to have such a close relationship. Some have expressed longing, a hope that their relationship with their mother was nearly as strong. Some have assumed it's always been this way and that I must have been one of those people with a "perfect" childhood. I always walk away from those conversations thinking, "if only you knew".

If only they knew our story...

If only they knew that we are where we are because we overcame, pressed on and mended fences...

If only they knew the tears and struggles that brought us here...

If only they knew God is in the business of relationship restoration.

Today, you are one of my best friends. I talk to you daily, sometimes more than once a day. When I have news to share, you are in line only behind Kevin. When I need a shoulder to cry on, you are there. You weep with me, you laugh with me, you encourage me.

Many of my childhood memories might not be the best, but my adulthood ones more than make up for it.

When Jerald was born, you were there. It was a special moment between Kev and I, but also between the two of us.
I felt in that moment, our relationship had come full circle. Grandparenting has been a second chance, for both of us. It has been the bridge to much healing, a chance to enjoy things together, a chance to replace difficult memories with joyous ones.

You might not have ever won a "Mother of the Year" award, but I'm pretty sure that you are most definately worthy of "Nana of the Century".

No amount of words on a blog post will ever be enough to express just how much you mean to me.

I love you, Mom. I'm glad you are in my life. I'm glad God has allowed us to overcome and rebuild our relationship. I'm glad you aren't just my mom, but that you are my friend.

I hope this was your best birthday yet!